Have you ever felt the fear of being alone? I know I have...and it sometimes isn’t an easy state to get your mind out of.

As humans, most of us live on a need to know basis because we wish to control the outcome of situations like wired up machines. For instance, a calculators’ output is “4” when you insert, [2+2] regardless of the type of calculator you use or where in the world you use it. This is the permanent answer and it stays as such.

But when it comes to humans, I could offer you 2 great pieces of advice and then add another 2 pieces of advice on top of it — whilst this may still total to a 4, what you choose to do with this advice determines how beneficial (or not) said advice will be to you. The difference between us and the calculator on receiving a total of 4 is that we have a choice. Blending this choice with the fear of being alone, impacts our decision making which then leads us into creating new realities such as “settling for/settling within or quitting/leaving” because we are fearful of being alone or doing it on our own.

We create toxic attachments because we believe it’s needed or we form codependent narratives such as, “I did this because this person left me and I can't do it without them & making excuses for other people’s behaviours”. With all these scenarios, we avoid taking responsibility and where there is no responsibility, stability can’t fully exist.

Aside from this, we have to understand that there’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I love spending time alone but I don’t feel lonely and it took me a long time to properly differentiate the feeling between the two. As a result, I am mindful of what others feel and how both states can have a dramatic effect on people’s actions or views of their true self.

Either way, I believe being able to view the emotions you experience as temporary and not permanent like the calculator, is helpful to overcome the fear and this is what I want to shed some light on today.

Here are 4 key points I want you to review should you ever feel alone.

  • Understand that in this vast universe we live in, things change and everything is in constant motion: I can’t echo this point enough and it’s important for you to acknowledge that your feelings are 100% valid but at that, they are also temporary and the state will change — all you have to do is: find a way to reach out for some help.
  • You're never really alone: on a more spiritual perspective, your inner child, your higher self and your shadow self form a part of you and as such, they walk with you. Regardless of your awareness and/or belief in this aspect, here are some activities you can do to connect with others.

    Activity you can do

- Normalise speaking to yourself or reaching out to talk to others around you

- If it’s hard to speak about what you are going through to those close to you, then speak to a complete stranger if possible - (yes, there are still people who will engage in conversation even if we live in a somewhat “connected but not connected society”)!

- Today, we are lucky to have free phone lines like the Samaritans - if you are based in the UK (you can call 116 123 for free) and there are also other organisations that host free chat lines for you to connect with someone else.

  • You can be alone without being lonely: Here, I want to highlight the aspect of reflection. At times being alone is:

- to help you silence all distractions from the outside world

- it’s for you to find ways of connecting

- re-assessing certain decisions or changes that are to happen or have already happened in your life

Reflection is a gift and to be able to take a step back and re-assess a situation, find out where and how you may need help or even carry forward is a true skill in itself and so I want you to remember ↓

“Gifts aren’t always wrapped, delivered or of cash value. They can be simple acts of kindness, a lesson learnt, a boost in your confidence or failure. How you chose to interpret this, is on you. This is my gift for you today”.

I know that fear keeps us from doing a lot of the things that we wish and when it comes to being alone, we fear that if a person we have formed an attachment to isn't there anymore, then we are simply done! Even if this holds a certain level of truth, we can’t deny that there’s also beauty in uncertainty.

Have you ever felt that you needed someone to do something but then you were able to do it yourself and felt so proud?… Well yes, that very feeling! More than 7 times out of 10, we are more than capable than we give ourselves credit for and being alone can push us to find ways of overcoming limiting beliefs that we place on ourselves.

Wherever you are, I want you to normalise being alone as a way to connect with yourself rather than placing fear on it. You’re not alone and you are definitely not the only one feeling this way meaning your feelings are and will always be valid, and there is something you can do at any time too. Most importantly, temporary doesn’t mean permanent and so to be alone is a completely natural feeling - feel it and push the fear aside.

Thank you for reading.

Love & Light
Amida